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Feeling cheated

It’s funny the things that can trigger off a series of thoughts and emotions. It’s hard to know for sure, but I think that on this occasion I think a few of things came together: an article from a funeral director asking people to stand an pay respects if they see a cortege as with the COVID-19 restrictions the actual funeral ceremony is rather sparse (this in turn prompted a strange dream which let me in an odd mood for the day); seeing my neighbour and his son putting up a pergola; and assembling a Raspberry-Pi based project! [read more]

Posted on 13 April 2020

family  bereavement  loss 

Dear Freddie...

Dear Freddie, I really thought we’d meet you. With the three successful pregnancies that preceded the first miscarriage, I really thought that this time things would be ok. Yes, I know probability doesn’t work like that. But still, I felt that we would meet you. That’s not to say that there wasn’t worry (boy was there worry!), but ultimately I really thought that this time would be ok. Once again, I’m grieving. [read more]

Posted on 14 November 2017

pregnancy  miscarriage  loss 

Dear Caitlin...

Dear Caitlin. Dear child that I never got to meet. The smiles I will never see, the hugs I will never have. 1 in 5 pregnancies results in miscarriage. Yet no-one talks about it. Most common in the first three months. Which is the point where no-one talks about being pregnant. And if you’ve not told people you’re pregnant, well… how do you bring up that you lost the baby? [read more]

Posted on 07 August 2017

pregnancy  miscarriage  loss